“That is not how I play ‘Survivor,'” mentioned a loyal and honorable man named the Dragon Slayer. A person who :::checks notes::: flat-out stole a key from Ozzy again in Episode 1? Positive!
Make no mistake, light readers. I like Coach. Love. And our man — one of many biggest “Survivor” characters to ever emerge — is on an absolute tear in Wednesday’s episode. As Dee and Jonathan butt heads concerning the Kamilla and Charlie votes, Coach will get riled up, saying that anybody who’s mendacity and taking part in “that type of sport” is not going to win “Survivor 50.” He talks about obliterating his enemies, and says that “the previous Coach is again.” Hey man, do not threaten me with a superb time!
Monetary Analyst Emily Flippen calls out his hypocrisy, saying Coach himself is a “flat-faced liar more often than not.” And as Tiffany and Dee fantasize over his potential demise, Coach lays within the hammock considering of recent haikus that match his most noble actuality TV struggles (although “betrayal throughout” is six syllables, not 5, however who’s counting?).
Coach is not executed but. He then pulls Rizo into his 4 Horsemen alliance (with Jonathan and Joe), telling the younger whippersnapper that he is a substitute for the eradicated Colby. Rizo, the insightful and instinctual participant that he’s, flags this immediately as phony. However the pupil of the sport performs ball, regardless of considering that Coach’s supply is ludicrous. And it’s! Later, Rizo has to inform Coach to relax out after the Dragon Slayer refers to some gamers as “the folks within the center,” when Devens — who’s, of their perspective, very a lot smack dab within the center — is standing proper there! Even Chrissy and Stephenie sit again and surprise if Coach is making an attempt to get himself voted out. The “Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers” runner-up says he is performing “unhinged,” and admittedly, there are zero lies detected in that assertion.
Chinese language takeout and… brownies?
Earlier than we go to Uncle Jeff at Tribal Council, a couple of extra Episode 7 observations.
-Monetary Analyst Emily Flippen is at it once more, squealing to Rizo that Dee informed her about his idol. Is there no secret in “Survivor 50” that Emily is keen to maintain?! (Most likely not, and I like her for it.) Emily has been bringing the chaos together with her free lips and “zero effs given” perspective. What an absolute dynamite selection for a returnees season. 5/5 casting. We’re actually residing.
-Stephenie is chosen to go on a journey, and the duty at hand? Preserve your arm raised to the sky for one hour and obtain a bonus. It is the right segue for a “Stephenie is a badass” montage, which in fact consists of her shoulder pop from “Heroes vs. Villains.” She does earn the products (a Steal-a-Vote benefit), however the most effective a part of this charade is that when she tries to deceive everybody about it, Cirie sees proper by way of it. (There is a purpose why Steph did not win that “Snake within the Grass” episode!) As quickly as Stephenie is on digital camera saying, “I do assume my secret is secure with Cirie,” we reduce to: Cirie instantly telling Rizo. We love the mess, Cirie’s raised eyebrows, and all.
-“And for dessert, a Chinese language takeout staple: Brownies!” Say, what? Jeff, I do not know the place you are ordering your Chinese language meals from, however drop their Insta deal with within the feedback, please. I might like to chow down on a few of Asia’s best chocolatey delicacies. Why not add a pitcher of margaritas to actually spherical out the meal? I do not even know what I am speaking about anymore as a result of Jeff has thrown me off my rocker, so let’s take a hike to Tribal Council, we could?
Dee’s sport goes up in smoke
Tribal council looms,
All of us are unsettled,
Tonight, strains are drawn.
I could not resist dropping a really particular Tribal haiku right here straight from the mouth of — you guessed it! — the Slayer of Dragons. The person, the parable, the legend. Earlier than there ever was a RizGod. The person whose wrath and fury (together with Jonathan’s damage emotions from the Charlie vote) appear to be main the troop.
And whilst Coach tries to reply Jeff in previous proverbs or no matter that was, Dee and Tiffany’s eyes are rolling. (Me? I CAN’T GET ENOUGH.) Earlier than Tribal Council, there have been makes an attempt to show the tables on The Tide Walker. Emily raised the query of probably booting Coach to the jury, and everybody beneath the Fijian solar in all probability knew that Tiffany and Dee had been down for that plan. However with quite a lot of speak about “strains within the sand,” plus, it being the largest Tribal Council within the historical past of “Survivor,” there have been quite a lot of totally different takes and much too many cooks within the kitchen.
However after Jeff requested his questions and the solid positioned their votes, Aubry performed her idol, casting her “Scarlet Letter” apart. Dee, in the meantime, performed her Shot within the Darkish, but it surely sadly did not hit, and the “Not Secure” Season 45 winner was eradicated from the sport by a vote of 8-4-1.
Any sturdy emotions about Coach on the market? We need to hear them! Go Full Tilt Boogie in that feedback part — and make sure you return Thursday for our Q&A with Dee!
