She wrote about her first stint in rehab, recalling she did not have any of the standard care like group remedy or a 12-Step program. “I left clear and sober,” she stated. “However there appeared to be no resolution to my postpartum despair. I additionally went house in denial. The concept just a little liquid may take me down or rule my life appeared unattainable for a tricky lady like me.”
She tried to return to her collection, Nashville, however shortly fell again into her outdated patterns that even the crew observed. “Each day after that was a juggling act. I gave up the meds, and I went to work bloated, exhausted, and jittery. Each day I ran house, determined for a drink. I’d switched to vodka, pondering nobody may odor it on my breath, however I used to be fooling myself. Vodka smells like vodka. I’m certain everybody knew what was happening, however nobody stated something.”
She shared that even her character began to face the identical struggles she had in actual life. “It turned extra obvious round season 4 of Nashville that my private issues appeared to be mirroring the script,” she wrote. “Juliette Barnes had postpartum despair, an alcohol and capsule drawback, and a divorce on the horizon. She was erratic, an absentee mom, and fought with everybody — together with her followers. Each time I learn the day’s script, it was like I used to be trying in a fun-house mirror, seeing a distorted reflection of myself. I can’t inform you how misplaced this made me really feel. … I dove headfirst into my very own hell.”
